you have time
‘Does anyone even watch the news anymore?’ I was having this conversation with a co-worker the other day, as we were getting ready to leave for the afternoon. When I was a kid I remember my grandmother and mom always turning the evening news on around 6 o’clock. It was always the most boring part of my day when I desperately wanted them to change the channel so I could watch cartoons. In middle and high school I joined the debate team and found myself electing to watch the news when I got home so I could stay up to date on world events and politics. College and young adulthood is where I began to stop keeping up with it. My own life had become so busy and I could only be bothered to learn about news when someone mentioned it in conversation or from a social media post. Who can blame me? Every time there is news, rarely is it ever positive. My co-worker and I talked about how the news is always depressing and about how life is heavy enough without being bombarded with the news cycle. We were never meant to consume as much information as we have available to us now on a daily basis. It sends our brains and nervous systems into overload. It’s too much, so we turn it off.
I am afraid that this methodology has seeped its way into everyday life for some of us. Even without the constant ‘breaking news’ lines every hour, there is always a meeting to attend, grating iphone alarm going off, or another item on the to-do list. Texts, teams pings, email notifications. Traffic. Let’s not forget the daily traffic that can almost push you over the edge. Life has a lot of noise within it and things that demand our attention constantly. Without intentional effort, you can find yourself doing whatever it takes to get through the day. In a capitalist society where productivity and efficiency is king, that is the easiest way. It is more beneficial to tune out the noise and become as mechanical as possible to meet the deadlines and complete the task list. Then when it’s all finally completed (it won’t be trust me), then you will allow yourself to breathe. Relax. Actually enjoy your life.
I want to insist and implore you to fight against this. To reject the notion that we get to live when we retire, which if you are my age in this economy, this gets further by the day. Modern day culture has a way of convincing you that you do not have time for the very things that you were created to do. We get caught in daily routines so we forget to call our mom. The busy schedule never includes time for hanging out with our friends. Any spare second left over is filled with television and social media so there is no time to process our thoughts and emotions. I don’t want to fool you, these are my personal struggles. To anyone who is reading, I want to invite you to rebel with me; to fight for a beautiful life together.
In the same way that we turn off the news, we can turn off our own thoughts and feelings. I am the queen of compartmentalizing, however, there comes a time where you have to take those things out of the boxes that you have stored them in. This may mean therapy but it could also mean journaling. A lot of the time I find myself talking out loud or praying just so I can get things outside of my own mind. I recount situations at work or in my personal relationships; separating out what actually happened versus how I felt about them to keep my mind clear. Tune into things that you feel that your mind or body needs so you can flourish, not just survive. Take time to cook a healthy meal or buy flowers for yourself, if nothing for but the simple fact that it brings you joy. Paint, dance, sing in the car even if you are tone deaf just because you can. Refuse to push aside the things that bring light to your day. You have the time to take care of your mind and body.
You may find yourself saying ‘I’m too tired to hang out with them’, ‘I have so much to do this week. I can’t make it to the party’, or ‘as soon as I finish this, I will call them back.’ It’s so backwards how when life gets overwhelming some of the first things we will cut out are the things that bring us the most joy. We will sacrifice time spent with our family and friends just to get one more thing off the to do list. Sometimes this is necessary but having it be our default is no way to live. Life is nothing without your community and I believe we should strive to strengthen those bonds. There is an epidemic of people feeling lonely because we do not make time for true connection with one another. If you find yourself here, reach out to others. Invite your neighbors to go on a walk in your neighborhood. (I’ve done it, now I have new friends!) Ask your parents if they want to have a lunch date, don’t always wait for them to plan things. Send your friend the 20 minute voice note, if they are anything like me they are dying to listen! You have time to build deep connections with those around you.
Don’t let the calendar tell you that you don’t have time to live your life. Battle against the notion that everything you do in life has to meet a grander goal or be productive somehow. Go out with your friends and laugh until you cry. Roll your windows down and sing to your favorite songs when you drive. Do things simply because they nourish your soul and make you smile. You have time to live.
